Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Hoosier Slippery Slope

Slippery Slope
Originally uploaded by Bloomington Girl.
These before and after pictures always crack me up. In this case, the before is on the right and the after is on the left. BEFORE moving to the heartland from the East Coast and AFTER living here awhile, that is. But, don't worry, loyal readers. Neither of these is actually me, though I am starting to worry that after a few more years in the one of the top ten most obese states in the union, the one on the left will be. (Though I can't imagine that I would be lucky enough to grow the boobs along with the gut.)

Because I have been extra busy gettin the McMansion ready for the market and looking for a rental, I have not been getting to the gym as much as I am used to lately. And to be bone honest (though my bones aren't showing quite as clearly as they used to be), I have been eating a tad too many calories to boot. As a result, I've noticed that certain, uh, aspects (ass & pecs) are starting to, well, slide southward, if you get my drift. Without a consistent weight lifting routine, I don't have a chance against gravity and I don't have a chance of fitting into last summer's clothes. (Okay, I already don't. There, I said it. Are you happy?)

But, tonight, I had an inspiration that I believe will turn things around and get me back on track. I am a little embarrassed to say that it involved Madonna. In an enthusiastic moment brought on by a martini last night, I downloaded Madonna's new CD onto my ITunes. I didn't listen to it until this evening at which time I noticed that I had gotten a Madonna music video along with the download. So, I watched it.

There was Madonna, scantily clad, doing her thing. And I thought to myself, Hey, I may be no Madonna, but I am the same age, more or less. There is no reason that I can be as fit as she is (unless you consider that she probably has a staff of a few hundred people, including a nutritionist, a trainer and a chef...but I digress.)

So, I am embarking on getting back my fitness starting tomorrow. I am going to hire a personal trainer from IU for the summer and I am going to pay them to kick my fat jiggly ass. I know that this is completely spoiled and wimpy of me, but I am going to do it anyway, so there. First, I am going to confirm that there is no law against being fit in Indiana (from the looks of things, one sometimes wonders) and then, I am going to go full tilt. I will take a before shot in my bikini and when I have a decent after shot, I shall post them both. But not before, so don't ask me to.

It's time for bed.


The Kinderhook Chef said...

Come on. It can't be THAT bad. I've noticed that as I get older I seem to prefer women that are a little more shapley than those teeny little hardbodies that you could split in two. My 45 year old frame has some nice soft rolling hills and I say screw the personal trainer, save your money, and buy more silver futures.

Valerie said...

Joni, Where did you get that picture of me at the beach? I'll bet John sent it to you. Well, guess what, I think I'll just eat another pierogie...I'm 47 and now there is more and more to love. Who wants to try to compete with 20 somethings at this age? I say eat, drink, and be just that order! And if you love yourself and are happy then everyone will love you and want to be with you. My two cents!