Saturday, June 10, 2006

Junk Food Stupor

I have been unable to write, loyal readers, for two reasons. First of all, my parents live in the dark ages with no internet connection and no computer. Second, I have been in an unhealthy food-induced stupor for my entire visit to Herkimer. After several days at my parent's house, I am now at the sane and wonderful home of my dear friends Cindy and David Staley, where there is (obviously) an internet connection, fresh fruits and vegetables in the kitchen and a selection of healthy foods and most importantly, good wine. They even have drinkable coffee! It's Nirvana after a steady diet of spaghetti and meatballs, bologna sandwiches, pizza and not a drop of potable alcohol. Sure, there was bud light in cans in my parents' fridge, but I wasn't fooled. I know that stuff ain't safe to drink.

I now have a gut that would rival a fifty year-old male who drinks a six pack every night while watching ESPN. I've adjusted my car seat so that the steering wheel doesn't rub against it. But, I should look at the bright side. I will fit in better in the third most obese state in the union when I return home to it.

More later from Hoosier Soil.


Dick said...

Look at the bright side, with that 50 year old, beer swilling, ESPN watching man gut, you won't be able to see those horrible knife scars anymore. :-)

BloomingtonGirl said...

my dearest dick,
my loyal readership will indeed begin to wonder about these knife scars. May I have your permission to explain them? Since the story may cast some dispersions on your reputation a bit, I wanted to check first. :-)

Dick said...

Permission granted. My reputation certainly doesn't need any more dispersions cast on it than it already has!