Friday, August 18, 2006
Neither Hair nor There
In the spirit of complete disclosure, I must admit that I do not have the basic bikini wax. I have the "Extreme Parisian" version of the bikini wax. This version takes off more than the basic wax but less than the "Sultan" (absolutely every hair comes off), or the famous "Brazillian" (all but a "landing strip" in front comes off). I opt for the EP because I swim several times a week in the summer and I don't want to worry about having a pubic hair festival peeking out from my suit.
For the Extreme Parisian, part of the time, the waxee is on her back, naked from the waist down, hugging her knees to her chest while the waxer plies her trade. It is not a very dignified position but it is endurable because it is quick and there is no need for chit chat with the waxer. But, this time, there was a trainee in the room and for some reason, this made chit chat necessary. I found out that it is hard to be my witty self with my 43 year-old hoohah available for view at all times. It made me a wee bit self-conscious.
When I returned home from my wax, I decided to read the news. I had planned to read about the terrible state of affairs in this world, but I happened to see that the most e-mailed news item this week in the NY Times is one called "Throw Your Tweezers Away." Not wanting to ignore a cultural trend, I clicked at once on this important article. Good thing I did because I learned that bushy eyebrows were going to be in fashion this fall. I would not have known otherwise and might have continued to tweez my eyebrows only to be a laughingstock.
As I read the piece, I became anxious. I ran to the mirror in fear. Would my scrawny brows grow in fast enough to make the Fall fashion deadline?
To my relief, I learned from the article that women with over tweezed or just plain tweezed eyebrows need not worry. (Phew!) We unfortunates can have Eyebrow Extensions put on. For a mere $75 to $250 dollars, an eyebrow expert will " thicken brows by gluing a tiny fiber onto each existing hair." The effect lasts two weeks. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anyone who does this service in Bloomington. I shouldn't have been surprised since the article did specifically say that "On both coasts, everybody wants a thicker brow." Nothing was said about the heartland. I will just have to go to one of the coasts to get my eyebrow extensions. This will be expensive, but one has to do what one has to do.
Wait a minute...I just had a better eye-dea. Why not use my own hair for my extensions? After all, I have a healthy amount removed every four weeks, right? I could simply recover some of that hair and stick it on my eyebrows. The wax would make it sticky enough. It wouldn't be a perfect match, being a bit redder and curlier than my eyebrows, but I bet I could make it work.
Stay tuned for photos.