Thursday, November 16, 2006
Decrepitude Calls While the Tea Kettle Whistles
I don't know why this is writing in underline style and I can't seem to change it. But, that is the least of my little problems today, loyal readers. The day before yesterday, I worked out and did some yoga stretches afterward. I was surprised at how limber I was and pushed the stretches farther than I had ever before. Looking back, I can see that perhaps it was a mistake. My back got a bit sore that night and continued to get stiffer yesterday. I went to my weekly Yoga class hoping that the stretching would loosen things up (HA!) and took it very easy. Nothing seemed to get worse so I thought that by today, I would be almost ship shape. Wrong. Earlier this morning as I bent down to pick up one of Jack's toys, disaster struck. My lower back seized up and I was condemned to the floor, wondering how I would make it to the phone to call my friend Mary and cancel our lunch date. I crawled from the den to our bedroom - no tiny distance in this McMansion - to get the nearest phone and much to my horror, it wasn't there. (Those cordless phones are such mixed bag, are they not??) I lay on the floor for awhile after several excruciating minutes trying to find a pain free position. Then, the teakettle started screaming from the kitchen. I have a teakettle that has an actual harmonica in the whistle so when it goes off, it sounds like a train is coming. The sounds makes me feel that I must urgently get to the stove and turn it off. It isn't rational - after all if the whistle is still sounding, there is water in the pot, so there is no rush. Even so, that urgent whistle added to my stress as I crawled on my belly to the kitchen. I then decided to hoist myself into my computer chair because it has wheels and use it as a means to roll around the downstairs. Worked like a dream once I got it over the threshhold between my office and the kitchen. I wheeled over to get some muscle relaxers and some anti-inflamatory capsules and here I am. Doped up and de-flamed.
It is now evening and I actually made it through the day but I am a hurtin' buckeroo. Besides not curing my back, the muscle relaxer makes my mouth dry, makes me feel sort of dopey and makes me want to eat everything. However, it does not make laugh at anything and everything, which is a shame.
My advice, loyal readers is to never pick up after your children. See what happens?