Loyal readers, I am not going to lie to you.
Your BloomingtonGirl has been feeling both anxious and blue these past several days. I don't know when it hit me exactly, or what in particular is getting me down, but here I am.
Most probably - and I am sorry to make my male readers blush - it is hormonal. No, I am not having PMS. Rather, I am ovulating and I find that as I venture into my middle age (if I am lucky, that is) I get cranky when my ovaries pop out a little egg. I call it OBS...Ovulatory Bitchiness Syndrome.
In my opinion, OBS makes little sense in the reproductive scheme of things. It is certainly not intelligent design, if population of the Earth is the goal. Who wants to have sex with a bitchy woman who feels entirely unsexy ? (I can guess at one candidate who wouldn't, though I will not reveal his name here in case he is my husband. ) The potential fertilizing male probably figures it is less trouble in the scheme of things to let the egg die on the vine, so to speak, and wait until his mate is more receptive.
On the other hand, I didn't experience OBS when I was younger, so maybe this syndrome is Natures little gift of birth control to women of a certain age who would be less than joyous to be knocked up at this stage of life. In that light, it is a bit more understandable.
Whatever the reason for this dip in my usual sunny outlook, the result is that I become a Nihilist for a couple of days mid-cycle. Today, I slogged through my day, my spirit crushed - woe is me! - by the never ending task of keeping house. I feel like Sisyphus, putting away the Legos every night only to find them newly strewn about the next day. A boulder up a hill? Ha! Child's play.
I did find enthusiasm and meaning in the process of seasoning my new wok today although it did get a bit smoky in the kitchen. I have to admit that watching the beautiful deep patina develop gave me a thrill I hadn't felt since my hormones started messing with me this mid month. Pathetic? Of course, but I will take what I can get when I am in this frame of mind.
In other news, I made some Vegan brownies and I am sad to say that they were awful. I don't ever think I will give up butter and eggs. Especially if life has no real meaning, right?