Sunday, February 25, 2007

Musing on Making a Mark

This is the Valentine's Day card Jack created for his classmates. He took a picture of himself on my computer using one of the special effects settings. I cut and then pasted it into a painting document and he "painted" the rest on the computer. Creative genius is what you are thinking, no?

It is Sunday evening and I have given up on trying to write anything remotely interesting for my writing class tomorrow morning. I am - to be bone honest - completely uninspired by my authorial talent, or lack thereof. Is authorial a word? If it isn't, it ought to be, don't you think?

I started out this semester thinking that I would try my hand at more serious writing. I got off to a pretty good start and wrote a rough, but mildly promising piece. But, then, nothing. Well, to be fair, not nothing. But the somethings that have resulted are completely flat and uninspired. I'm not being modest here, Loyal Readers. Believe me. I am finding the work to be drudgery and it shows.

I keep thinking back to when Kate gave me The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants soon after it first came out in (I think) 2001. That book - and I didn't get very far into it - convinced me that I ought not to be a writer. Why? Because I thought that the book was dreadful in that pedestrian, cliche sort of way and I knew that my best effort wouldn't even be as good. It was a humbling realization. I guess I had forgotten about it, but the latest effort to write more serious work has (fortunately for my readers) made the realization startlingly fresh in my mind. I am just plain discouraged with my writing. This is not a plea for praise or encouragement, though I always take either, of course. It is just how I am feeling.

And, going to a fund raiser for the Cardinal Stage Company didn't make me feel any better today. (Don't get me wrong...It was a lovely party with excellent food and Champagne at a drop-dead gorgeous home near by.) The room was filled with impressive and talented people and it made me wish that I could make my mark creatively. But what does making one's mark even mean? And, when you do make it - whatever that is - then what? I imagine it is like being on one of those rodent exercise wheels. You do one good work - a book, a song, a performance...whatever...and then you have to live up to the work by doing another at least as good. Eek. I wonder what one hit wonders think about it all. Do they wish they had never had their one hit? Do they feel washed up?

I once did business with a nice man who was an ingredient buyer at a large vitamin company in California. He was a completely unassuming, almost nondescript man. I found out that he had been a member of the We Five who had had a hit or two years ago. He seemed completely happy but what a strange transition.

I saved the above last night and settled in to read Clarissa, so it is now Monday evening. I shall post this and perhaps put up a new post...


Perk said...

Your mark is your entire lifetime and how well you've loved. Your art, whatever form it takes, can only be a reflection of that.

BloomingtonGirl said...

Perfectly and eloquently stated.

Slim Pickens (Blazing Saddles) said...

Perk, you use your mouth pertier than a twenty dollar whore!!