Monday, June 25, 2007

Back Again so Soon?

Yes. It is back. The PMS that almost had me down for the count last month is back again, having its way with your poor BloomingtonGirl. I realized I was at its mercy when I went a little berserk today at the poor young woman behind the counter at my favorite outdoor pool in town (I won't mention its name so I don't say anything bad about IU). The topic was their new policy of not letting any child over five years old go into the locker room of the opposite sex parent. JeSUS! I think that the policy is ridiculous - five is just too young for the cut off...seven or eight is much more appropriate. But, I have to admit that I voiced my discontent in a less than constructive manner to what ended up being a trio of clerks (two more were brought in for reinforcements against the mean crazy lady.) Instead of doing the right and effective thing of first asking why the new policy had been set , I just started BLAHBLAHBLAHING about why it was ridiculous. After the three clerks and I finished discussing the policy (and I use the term loosely, Loyal Ones, because I was not facilitating a discussion, but rather a bombast by yours truly), I went off to swim my laps. This gave me time to think and I realized how abrasive I had been. Chlorinated Shame washed over me and a life-saving billboard flashed to me from inside my head.

RED ALERT...RED ALERT

YOU HAVE PMS! QUICK...DO SOMETHING TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND THE WORLD AROUND YOU FROM YOUR OUTBURSTS OVER WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE LITTLE CONTROL!
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR THE REST OF THE DAY AND, FOR THAT MATTER, THE ENTIRE WEEK. AVOID DISCUSSIONS WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE IF POSSIBLE. DON'T GIVE OTHER MOTORISTS THE FINGER NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY DESERVE IT AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DRINK NO ALCOHOL UNTIL THIS DEMON HAS BEEN EXORCISED.

(I just read that part out loud to my husband. Lucky for him, he laughed and told me it was funny.)

Well, I am relieved to say that for the most part, I was able to lay low for the remainder of the day and avoid talking to anyone about anything of consequence. I did yell at my poor kid and made him cry (he deserved it, but still...) and I did have some sort of meltdown at my soon to be long-suffering husband, who wisely just let the storm pass without saying much. But overall, I think that I avoided complete disaster today. Tomorrow is another story, but I don't anything heavy planned. In fact, I'll be mostly at home, preparing cookie/brownies gifts that I owe a friend from an auction last spring. (She bid on my stuff and on the option to send a package to a friend in the future. I guess the future is now...) I will post pictures of the resulting packages on tomorrow's blog. If I may say so, they are pretty nice looking, considering the twisted hormonal mind that created them...

Be glad, Loyal Readers, be very glad that you can avoid being in my company this week.

Hormonally yours,
BloomingtonGirl

2 comments:

Steph said...

I'm hoping today has passed smoothly! (Written as I'm digging into the chocolate myself.)

BloomingtonGirl said...

I sincerely hope that it is good chocolate, Steph. One time, I was going through the check-out line at the Kroger and I was buying about ten pounds of chocolate for baking. I also happened to be buying tampons at the same time. The male clerk looked a bit scared of me...