Hello, Loyal Readers. Your BloomingtonGirl is out of sass today, low energy, a little blue. You get the idea. First let me say that I do realize that each one of my ridiculous problems are indeed luxury ones. I feel fortunate every single day to not be in a war zone where I live in fear, cannot feed my child or get him remotely adequate health care. (Remember, it is easy to write to your congressional reps and urge them to get the hell out of Iraq NOW.) Alas, I digress. Where was I? Oh, yes, my petty little problems.
First of all, as you can see in the photo at left, I am suddenly very very fat. As I was walking today, I was reflecting on how much time and energy I spend thinking about the size of my body, mostly the part of my body the bottom of my rib cage down to my knees. The rest of me doesn't bother me terribly much especially now that I am managing my pore size to my satisfaction, but the rib to knee expanse area takes up WAY too much of my mental space. And to be accurate, the actual physical space that the area takes up, while annoyingly larger than it used to be, isn't all that shocking or alarming for a woman my size. Still, I am really put out by the size of myself lately. But even as I ponder this and give in a bit to despair, I have to wonder what other worry would fill my mental space if I no longer obsessed about whether I am thin or fat?
There is never an in between, of course. It's an either / or question not to be confused with a real multiple choice test:
Circle the answer which best describes your figure:
c) Just Right
d) Depends on the time of month )
Second of all, I had to live with an overtired frustrated kid, who in turn had to deal with his overtired, frustrated and fat mother. It was just one of those days where no matter what we were doing, some kind of whining would erupt (I am ashamed to say it wasn't always Jack's) or an argument would ensue. I have to be honest. I spent most of the day looking forward to Jack's bedtime. Go ahead, call the Perfect Mommy Brigade. See if I care.
I am sure that there was a "third of all" but I am too tired to remember it.
More later when I am thinner and better rested.