Tuesday, October 23, 2007

"Spinster Weds"

...was what was printed on the little party favor tags at the wedding I attended on Saturday evening. It was in keeping with the humor that pervaded the elegant evening celebrating the marriage of my terrific cousin Melissa to her wonderful new husband, Tim. Melissa is a first time bride at age 47 and I think that is incredibly neat. She and the groom graduated high school together but their paths didn't cross in earnest until their 25th high school reunion a few years back. I've known Melissa since I was a wee little girl and I knew Tim in high school. We grew up in a town where everyone knew everyone else.

I think that they make a great couple. They are SO happy. Hooray for true love!!!

The wedding was near my hometown of Herkimer.

Chris was working all weekend, so Jack and I flew by ourselves to upstate NY. Jack was an unexpectedly angelic kid most of the time. (Unexpected because he pitched a fit over going on the trip the night before we left and prompted me to prepare for the worst.)

For the first two nights, we stayed in the sadly decaying Herkimer with my parents, where we ate copious amounts of spaghetti and meat balls and Yetty's pizza. I have written about the Herkimer dietary experience in past blogs, so I will just say here that I truly despair of having anything else that my mother might cook for the rest of my life. For some reason, she cooks only spaghetti and meat balls when we visit. The first night we arrive we have that and on subsequent nights, we eat at Yetty's (I don't mind, it is my favorite pizza in the whole entire world) or we eat variations on the spaghetti and meatball theme at my parent's house. The last two nights of this trip, we stayed in Springfield Center, NY with my beloved friend Cindy, and her equally beloved family and got to eat other kinds of food. Every time I visit Cindy, I implore Chris to consider buying a retirement place in that area. It is so incredibly beautiful there.

One fun thing about this trip was that I got to hang out with both of my sisters at the wedding. Stacie, my younger sister attended without her husband and my older sister Kim's husband ignored us for the most part, so we were on our own. For those of you who didn't grow up with us, my sisters and I have pretty much nothing at all in common and we are rarely - almost never - in touch. That said, it was really fun to be with them at this wedding. My little sister rode with me to the restaurant from my parent's house and other than almost being asphyxiated by her perfume and hairspray, we got along famously and had quite a few laughs.

She fascinates me because no matter how much weight she puts on - and lately, if I can be absolutely honest, there is a great deal of weight- she ALWAYS gussies herself up in a big bold way and believes that she looks fabulous. And, the result of that attitude is that she does look fabulous. There isn't a self-conscious bone in her body. It probably helps that no matter what she is wearing or what occasion she is dressing for, she displays a minimum of two inches of cleavage. At this wedding, there might have been more like four inches showing. I am awed by her complete body confidence. Well, more honestly, I am a bit envious of her cleavage. I'm not even envious in a greedy way. I'd settle for a mere half inch of my own cleavage. That's not so much for a girl my size, right?

Now, back to the Spinster thing. Your BloomingtonGirl was once legally classified as a Spinster. When I was in my early thirties and single, I bought a house. When I got to the closing, I was surprised to see myself described on the documents as "Joni L. Ruller, Spinster". For some reason, marital status seems to be incredibly important in an official description of a person, doesn't it?

Spinster, Married woman, Divorcee, Widow. That about covers the stages following "Maiden". My question is when does a female cross the threshold from "Maiden" to "Spinster"? Is the hymen involved? Does it have something to do with clothing or style? Or is it strictly an age thing? If age is involved in the never married classifications, might there be an "Old Maid" category? And if so, at one point does one go from "Spinster" to "Old Maid"?

For men, I guess the categories might be Young Buck (really, what is the male equivalent of maiden?), Eligible Bachelor, Married man, Divorced man, Widower. If a man doesn't marry, he becomes a regular old Bachelor, but at what age does this label kick in? And if he is gay, does he still get classified as a Bachelor, or is there some other legal label for him?

Ah, these are the topics swirling in your BloomingtonGirl's head when she is not thinking about cleaning grout or fashion trends or whether her lovely son will get sent to the "office" tomorrow like he did today. When I was pregnant, I swear I put in my order for a perfect kid. If only I could find that receipt, I might be able to get some sort of discount after the fact.

In other news, I am still enjoying Middlemarch immensely and I am nearing the last part of the book. What a masterpiece! And speaking of that, I am off to cozy up in bed and read away.

Good night my Loyal Ones!


perk said...

Thanks for the pic and the reporting, Herkimer Girl! Congrats to Melissa and Tim! It warms my heart to see two old classmates hook up and find true love...I'm a true believer in the splendid maturity of 'middle age'. Who wants to be 20? ;-)

BloomingtonGirl said...

Well, I guess that someone would only want to be 20 if the very lucky fellow got to have me as a girlfriend at that age...

Seriously, I too believe in the splendid maturity of middle age and am thoroughly enjoying being in middle aged love myself.

Other attendees you might be interested in were Tammy Luppino, "Squid" Marusic and wife Becky Martinec, and Dave Gardner. Maybe I'll post photos for us Herkimerites.

Anonymous said...

Gay man is, of course, "confirmed bachelor," or used to be.

Who the hell wants a "perfect" kid, anyway. Very boring.