Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Oprah Wisdom

While waiting in the check-out line at Kroger today, I had some time to check out the headlines on the latest tabloids (my guilty pleasure!) and some headlines on the not so tabloidy selections such as "O" Magazine, the bible for Oprahphiles everywhere. I am not one of the faithful and if anything, Oprah annoys me. I admire her fashion, of course, and I have to admit that some of the articles in "O" are actually intelligent. But that said, she does annoy me. I just don't get why an Oprah endorsement will lead millions of people to run out and buy whatever it is that she is (ostensibly) having. And, while we are on the topic...the photo shoot of her opening her school in Africa was extra annoying. She was dressed to the nines, all done up like she was going to high tea with Brooke Astor. (Well, when Mrs. Astor could go to tea, that is.) C'mon Oprah. Tell your stylist to dress you more appropriately for these events. But, as I used to say, I digress...

Back to the checkout line.

On her magazine this month was an interesting teaser:

"What to Eat So You are Never Hungry Again!"

I didn't have time to page through the magazine to find out what food indeed had this kind of miraculous appetite suppression power. Alas, the cashier roused me from my magazine cover reading stupor with "Do you have a Kroger Plus Card?"

But, though I didn't get to find out what the magic bullet for obesity was, I was able to come up with one of my own. The only thing I could think of was any kind of fatal poison. One shot and your appetite would be gone forever. There is no way any other substance can live up to that claim.

Off to watch our latest Netflix selection. Oh boy, Oh boy!

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