"I don't really feel old, but going into fourth grade, I feel closer to dying."
I was a little alarmed by my nine year old expressing such a sentiment. I asked him to explain.
"Well, first I'm in fourth grade, then high school, then my driver's license. Then, I'm forty, then, I'm ninety. I probably won't make it that long ..."
He wasn't morbid or upset, but simply stating the facts as he saw them. It was something to hear a kid that young talk about life this way.
I remember that right after I got married, I felt the same way - closer to dying. (Not because I was unhappy with my choice, but because it was such a huge milestone and I was older when I did it.) Somehow, having passed the marriage milestone made me realize how mortal I was. I know I am not doing a good job explaining this, but believe me, it was very real. And still, almost thirteen years later, I lie in bed each night, drifting off to sleep, and the thought crosses my mind that this life is finite.
But, for Jack at age 9 to think these thoughts? Wow. Is this a harbinger of his development into an angst ridden artistic type? Stay tuned.